Determination

In that moment, I am swallowed whole
By the blue expanse, staring up at the navy lint clouds
Who have engulfed me and the parking lot entirely.
The wind bustles past me, a passerby,
Indifferent.

On that sidewalk, I realize am more vulnerable than ever before;
A starving plant could not be easier defeated.
My shriveled, once-velvet leaves succumb
At the slightest touch, from sun or rain.
(I did this to myself.)

Inside the pathetic prison of my bed, I finally give up the ghost
I had been clinging to for so long.
The universe sighs: it’s a shame
As yet again I ask myself in insipid wonder:
“You’re determined to self-destruct, aren’t you?”